Big News

Big things have been happening in the Incredible Household! I know you all are dying to know what it might be, so I will just come out and tell you and fill in the details afterward. The big news is that we are now bringing home two children! A boy *and* a girl!

When we started the adoption process, we had planned to bring home one child, our son, so having the option of bringing home two children was a huge mental adjustment for us. We had talked about and thought about another adoption...a few years down the road. The timing of our second adoption was honestly a big surprise. If there is such a thing as a surprise adoption, our second adoption is probably as close as it can get!

We had been plugging along with our Little Guy's adoption and had already sent our paperwork to USCIS/Immigration to be approved to bring him home. While we were waiting on our approval, we got a phone call late one night. When the phone rang, I startled awake wondering who was calling. Who calls you at midnight unless it's bad news or an emergency? Apparently, our adoption agency does! They are a few times zones away on the west coast and I guess they don't always think about the time difference when they call us on the east coast. Plus, when the new shared list comes out, they are working on China time, which often means that they are up in the middle of the night anyway! I let the call go to voicemail and picked up the message when my heart stopped racing and I was a little more awake. The message was from the China coordinator at our agency and was very vague. I called her back immediately after listening to her message and was expecting bad news. Instead she told me that they had locked the file of a little girl who they thought was a perfect match for our family. Needless to say, I didn't sleep very peacefully that night...I tossed and turned, trying to puzzle it all out. It didn't help one bit that Mr. Incredible was snoozing peacefully right next to me! There's little worse for insomnia than listening to someone breathing deeply and sleeping calmly.

We had 72 hours to make a decision about a second adoption. We had some serious work to do! First, the soul searching-could we open our hearts to another child? How could we say no now that we "knew" her? We had our daughter's file evaluated by a doctor, and had to consider family dynamics, space, finances, you name it and we thought about it. Everything was mulled over, distilled and percolated....and then we said "yes".

But wait! It's not that easy. If you've read other adoption blogs or my previous posts, you already know that. After you decide that you would like to parent a child from China, you have to write an official letter to the Chinese agency that oversees adoption (CCCWA). This letter outlines how you and your family will care for your new child and what plans you have in place for him/her. And then you wait until they answer your letter. This can be quite painful because by the time you submit the letter, you've already made the mental shift to having another family member. The CCCWA will either decline your request or agree to process the adoption. China agreed to process our adoption so now we have six months to get all our documents (dossier) gathered and sent.

Luckily, we are planning on completing both adoptions concurrently which means that most of our paperwork is already done. We'll have to make some ammendments to our home study and that will hold up our immigration approval, but folks, we are close! I even called USCIS to let our immigration officer know what was happening on our end. Would you believe that he was a cheerful, helpful, kind soul?! I've honestly never had a nicer interaction with a government employee. Hopefully the rest of the journey will continue this way and all of our paperwork will land on the desk of equally helpful and kind people.

And, without further ado, here is a picture of our daughter

The Power of Family

This video is too awesome not to share.  It's been floating around the adoption blogs that I read for a while now.  Originally my sister-in-law sent it to me but I was reminded about it last week when I saw another video of  one of the sons of this family playing the guitar.  It might not sound that special at first.  Except...this guy was born without arms.  When you're done watching this one, Google "George Dennehy and guitar".   You'll find several amazing clips of him playing his guitar...or piano...or cello.  See the power of family.  Watch and enjoy!

Week In Review

What are the chances that on the day our home study is approved (finally- hallelujah!) I would unknowingly buy a loaf of bread with our new son's name on it?!  First of all, I rarely buy bread because we just don't eat that much bread and when we do, I usually make it, so it was on a whim that i even bought the bread.  Secondly, by the time I got to the store, I had exactly twenty minutes to tear through the store and shop for and buy a week's worth of groceries before racing off to pick up my younger son.  I was charging through there like a crazy woman!  I quickly squeezed a few loaves and chose the squishiest, freshest one.  Imagine my surprise when I took the loaf of bread out of the fridge the next day, I was shocked to see "Julian", our son's advocacy name*, printed onto the bottom of the bag!  I'm pretty sure that I've never bought a loaf of bread that had our other son's names printed anywhere on it!  As our seven year old, Smushy, said, "That's called a coincidence, Mama".  It sure is, son.   I wonder if all the bread at Whole Foods says "Julian" on it?  Do you think "Julian" made the bread?  Inspected it?  Bagged it?  Maybe I should go back and check...because would it seem more or less weird if every bag said Julian?

*Most agencies give the children that they have listed an advocacy name, an English name that is meant to protect their privacy.  

We also got a new picture the night our home study was finalized!  Here he is in all his glorious cuteness!  

And, last but not least, our I-800A was finally sent off to USCIS on Friday for the first round of immigration approval.  Yay!

"A boy? From China?"

Can you sense the sound of surprise in the title of this post?  I can't tell you how many people have asked us this after hearing that we are adopting a *boy* from *China*.  We have two awesome boys at home and are overjoyed to be welcoming another!  We fell in love with our youngest son as soon as we saw him and that was that!  However, people seem genuinely surprised to hear that we are adopting a boy and you can almost see the wheels turning in their head as soon as they hear "boy" and "China" in the same sentence.  


One of the founders of Love Without Boundaries, Amy Eldridge, has been writing a wonderful series to help people understand the changing face of China's orphans, including why there are many boys available for adoption. There is still an (outdated) impression that all children adopted from China are girls.  In fact, the shared list of children available for adoption from China is 2/3 boys!  There are many more boys available for adoption than girls, and many fewer families wanting to adopt a boy.  (This is generally true in international adoption, not just in China.)   As the mother of two very sweet boys, I find it extremely sad that a child could miss out on growing up in a loving family just. because. of. his. gender.  Having been involved in the Chinese adoption world for (I think) about 20 years, Amy Eldridge explains all of this much better than I ever could.  Read more here about adopting a boy.  You can also read about why international adoption is important.
Oh, and just in case you're wondering...and I know many of you are, **cough, cough** mom *cough, cough**, we might maybe one day consider going back to China to adopt a girl.  I'm just basing this on a conversation with Mr. Incredible, but that's a whole other post.   

恭禧發財 Congratulations and Prosperity!

...Or, Happy Lunar New Year (two weeks early!) 

Notice the full moon rising in the lower left 

 I was just getting ready to tuck in Little Bear tonight when a *very* loud round of fireworks went off really close to our house.  Little Bear was already in my lap but he was scared and grabbed me around the neck.  As soon as I realized it was fireworks and told him so, he jumped up to the window and pulled the curtain aside.  Right there outside our window was an amazing fireworks display that went on for about half an hour!  The display was set off from a school two blocks away so we had front row seats without even leaving the house.

 The full moon was rising through some low clouds making for a wonderful effect.   Since we've been gathering decorations for Chinese New Year, the boys were convinced that these fireworks were for CNY.  (CNY actually starts on February 10th this year, so these fireworks were a little early, but hey, it was pretty awesome anyway.)  Through the whole display, both boys alternately shouted at the top of their lungs, "Thank you for the fireworks, G-d!",  "Gong Xi Fa Cai!" 
and "This is ahh-mayyy-zing!"  

 

             Not the greatest picture, but you can get a feel for how close we actually were!  

Feeling Pregnant

It's amazing to me how much this "paper pregnancy" has been so much like my previous pregnancies. At the beginning I lost a few pounds and now I've put that back on (plus some?) as if I were actually pregnant. We're about 15 weeks in and I'm ready for the calm of the second trimester!

I have a huge bundle of papers that I carry around and joke that it's my baby weight. It's so heavy and big now that it no longer fits neatly under my arm. I have to carry it with two hands out front, like a huge belly. I am terrified to leave it anywhere, like even in the car when I am running errands. Many of these documents are original documents that would be difficult to replace quickly. Or they've been notarized and partially or fully authenticated...Of course this bundle of papers has been growing since September and it is now ready to split out of the accordian folder that tries to contain it. One day I'll take a picture of it for you all. It truly is like my pregnancy belly. Of course I am the mama who had ten and nine pound babies!

I have anxiety and sleepless nights about whether we'll meet deadlines that have to be met. We have a certain amount of time to get our dossier to China...and no one seems to sense the urgency but me! It's a lot like the anxiety you might have when you're pregnant and wonder in the back of your mind about that glass of wine you drank before you even knew you were pregnant. Or you haven't felt the baby move in two hours- ohmygosh is everything okay? Maybe not the best comparison, but the emotions are the same. In spite of the anxiety, there's not much you can do but wait, hope and pray that everything is okay.

The thing is that I am normally a very even person- not a lot ruffles me. I'm good at keeping it together and not letting these feeling get out of control. But adoption is an exercise in patience, that's for sure. Having this experience is actually good for me; I'm not the most patient person in the world. The universe has handed me a teachable moment.

All the time I'm thinking of our new little one wondering what his personality will be like, what he might do when he "grows up", what his quirks might be. I'm so excited that we already know who he is! Of course we have hopes and dreams for all of our children and this child is the same. So many of the emotions I'm feeling are exactly the same as I had when I was pregnant with my older boys. The difference is that our new son is growing in my heart.

So, yes, I'm feeling pregnant... Fatigue- check. Weight loss/gain- check. Sleepless nights- check. Feeling emotional- check. Already in love with my new "baby"- check. Can't wait til it's over and I can meet my new "baby"- check!

Pictures

Here's a picture of our son...I am guessing that he was about 18 months in this photo.  It's one of my favorite pictures because he just looks so sweet.  I'm hopeful that when we travel to bring him home that we will be given a photo album of his first few years.  Some orphanages keep one for each child and give it to the parents on Family Day.

The picture below was one that was included in our son's referral.  I like it because I think his expression is hilarious but also because I feel like it gives us a glimpse of his personality.  By all accounts he's "a little bit naughty".  We think he'll fit right in!